Tuesday, September 1, 2009

transactional analysis.

psychologists, like all club-members, whether they want to or not, codify thier language and make up words to mean things that the general public don`t understand.

this is true of all people all the time.

microsoft makes up words to describe processes so that normally intelligent people are reduced to tears trying to figure out what is going on inside thier computer.

children take on slang to insulate themselves from adults. mostly this occurs unconsciously.

i found out recently that when my child says something is sick, what he really means is that it is good.

mostly, the codification of words within a group is benign, and the slang between members strengthens the group.

the difficulty, of course, comes when someone from outside the group needs to communicate with someone from inside the group for and important reason.

like when you need a straight answer from a lawyer, doctor or most any other bureaucrat when the issue involves your health, finances of freedom.

so....in the fifties, as psychology emerged into modern society, it became obvious to some practitioners that they needed to be able to communicate more clearly to thier patients about what was happening in thier lives.

most practitioners to this day treat thier patients as if they couldn`t understand what was going on and so merely write notes and keep a closed file and sit and listen to thier patients day in, day out.

some psychologists realised they needed to cut the psycho-babble and really involve the patient in the healing process, and so transactional analysis was born.

quite simply, t.a. posits that we are basically operating in one of three ego states at any one time.

parent, adult or child.

these three states are available to the adult person in various forms as they interact with themselves and with others.

the adult state is where we are resourseful and confident and healthy, balancing a cheque book, returning phone calls and being good to the niegbour`s kids over the fence.

the parent state is where we are fully telling others and ourselves what to do, how to do it, and how fast.

the child state is where we play, but also where we are fearful.

so we have p. a. and c.

and so does everyone else.

our parent and adult and child are constrantly interchanging inside our heads as we make decisions, communicate and act in our lives.

and so is everyone else.

mostly we have adult to adult conversations about things. simple mundane things like going ot the bank and withdrawing money, of buying a coffee, or filling up at the gas station.

where the problems lie is when a parent part of us is harsh towards someone else, and thier not-ok child reacts badly, or a person`s not-ok child attacks seemingly irrationally...or any one of a number of games that can be described in terms of the intraction between the parent, adult and child states as they rise and fall inside a person.

what is the parent style you are most familiar with?

do you use this style to teach, to guide or to explain to others?

is your internal child ok enough to play with others, or does it want ot hide or attack?

are you adult enough to rationalise and be patient with others, or do you try to dominate or manipulate to get what you want?

this simple way of explaining ego states and interactions with others is a simple and yet powerful way for the therapist or counseler to include the client in the psychotherapeutic process and making people much more aware of themselves and of others as they move through thier day.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


i want to thank marc stevens of no state radio for having me as his guest yesterday on his radio show.

we had a lot of fun.

tell me what you think.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

the battle for your mind.


this post is critical to understanding who is after the control of our thoughts and why....and how.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

the antidote.

the antidote to oppression is self actualisation.

this process has many stages. i`ll try to identify them here so that you can assess where you are on the path to being able to make decisions for yourself and take control and responsibility for your life.

the first stage to self actualisation is rebellion.

this stage manifests it`s self right from the moment we first exhibit behaviour.

the baby quickly learns the word no, and even though the use of this word generally seperates the child from what he or she wants, the baby still strikes for autonomy by saying no again.

the child who manages to run the gauntlet of parents. teachers, ministers, priests and policemen then comes face to face with...the boss.

the second stage of self actualisation is education.

many fall into the trap of believing the bricks-and-mortar building full of trade-unionists is there for the sole purpose of teaching us the secrets of the kingdom, and will be the salvation of the next generation of keen young minds.


much as the person who has spiritual questions niavely goes into a church, the bright young things enter university with the idea they will be enlightened by those who went before them.

wrong again.

they discover quite quickly that, to pass, they must toe the party line. in this instance the party is one of the professor`s ego....who is attached by the pocket-book to the dean.

stroke these guys by regurgitating thier party-line and you will get a little bit of paper for your wall that tells everyone else what a good little parrot you are, and if you are lucky, some of those people, especially those without the bits of paper, will give you other bits of paper to trade for food, fuel and shelter.

the third stage of self actualisation is disappointment.

disappointment that the bit if paper on the wall got you a marginally nicer place to sit each day, and no futher along the path to knowing what the fuck is going on.

along with the third stage comes evangilisation.

for some this means jumping on a bandwagon like saving the environment or some political junket taken in the local lecture hall, maybe a slip into religion...as a way of "finding one`s self."

for those with too much self-respect for trying to save the world one way or another, comes the rise of paranoia and conspracy theories.

believing that someone, or something, has it in for you can be comforting on those long nights towards the end  of a long month and a short paycheque.

9/11, space aliens, abductions, black government projects, implants. templars, the illuminati. ancient astronauts.

they are all true and protected by extremely dangerous people with guns and other weapons designed to kill people like you who dig too deep.

once you have clicked every link and stayed up late into the night listening to coast-to-coast so much that you are sleeping all day and your girlfriend/wife leaves you, you reach a point where you realise that you`ve come full circle.

and what did you discover?

nothing really.....except that, you like yourself a little more, and are more patient toward others and you are generally happier, mostly because, after listening to people rant on about secret government ops and men in black....you realise those people are nuts.

and you aren`t.

so the next stage of the antidote to oppression is acceptance.

this process is very much like the stages of grief when we lose a loved one.

shock, denial, negotiation and finally, acceptance.

we are born screaming and yelling, pushed from a bath of warm fluid and muffled sounds into what never stops being a struggle to survive.

some reach the level of acceptance in life quite quickly and settle into a rhythm of peaceful enjoyment of lifes simple pleasures, while others stay  on the boundary between shock and denial and stagger aound, making things difficult for others.

so where are you in all of this?

and it begs the question.......how to get unstuck.

oppression; a definition.


so culturally, white males aren`t burdened like all other groups.

no weight in applied either socially, psychologically, politically, financially, sexually, or in any other way that would restrict them (us) from manifesting thier true potential.

good news then.

i`ll call  my agent.


apparently the only identifiable group that is not oppressed in some way is the one i belong to.

white males.

i wonder why this is?

this space is a forum for this question.

updates soon.